Try

Perhaps the greatest tragedy of their relationship was that they wanted so desperately to try. Perhaps the beautiful part was that they thought about each other and wanted to say fluffy phrases to the other but because they knew falling apart was inevitable, they both stopped themselves each time they wanted to say something deeper. Perhaps the sad part was that each waited until the next year for that one golden week in hopes that they wouldn’t be changed and could be the same in hopes of rekindling a flame of a relationship.

He was the boy who fell short earlier in life only to develop into an overachiever. She was an overachiever who became a slacker. He didn’t like English or writing. She loved creative writing. He loved non-mainstream pop music. She loved what was deemed “hipster music.” He played soccer. She watched soccer. He laughed a lot. She smiled a lot. He didn’t know what Sperry’s were. She practically went everywhere in her Sperry’s. His parents wanted him to go to an Ivy League school. Her parents wanted her to go to a good school. His parents molded him into something he wasn’t. Her parents tried to mold her into something she wasn’t, but she was the rebellious child. His dream was to make a lot of money on Wall Street. Her dream was to become a novelist. His realistic dream was to become a doctor. Her realistic dream was to become a science teacher.

They shared almost nothing in common, but they were desperate enough to try and keep in contact despite the innumerable space between them. They tried to figure out if they could meet during winter break. He tried to convince her to go down south, and she tried to convince him to travel up north. It had been about a week and they almost admitted that they missed each other.

Come the school year, she would change. She didn’t want to admit she would change and mature and whatever else a particularly grueling school year did to a young girl, but change was inevitable. And she didn’t want him to see the bags underneath her eyes and the dazed gaze and the maniacal laugh, so maybe staying away until next year was a better choice.

She was torn between the want to meet him again and the horror of change. The fault in their stars lay in that distance and separation was inevitable. He was going to become this successful businessman and meet a wonderful girl. And she couldn’t hold anything against that wonderful girl because the girl would like him much more than she ever did. So, yeah, she couldn’t hold anything against that wonderful girl.

And, for herself, she wasn’t sure what lay ahead. She was pretty sure she would meet someone she could get along with and someone with the kind of morals she had. They would get married, and though there wouldn’t be any passion or extreme happiness, overall it would happy. And she was fine with that.

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3 thoughts on “Try

  1. Hey, it’s been a while since I really took time to read your blog, but tonight I read everything I could. This one in particular got me. The writing is absolutely lovely! I noticed that this was coincidentally written the day that I first met someone who reminds me of the boy you have so eloquently written. I can relate to the situation in this so much! (Also, was that a reference to John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars in paragraph 5?)

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